Feed the Feminine First – The Super Power Self Care Practice + Feminine Wisdom that Saves Me From Burnout Everyday
I am a big fan of taking care of yourself. I love that we finally live in a world where the self-care isn’t seen as selfish but instead is plastered across magazines, websites and book titles.
But we have to ask ourselves…
If self care is so lauded and applauded these days, why is it that most women still feel overwhelmed, depleted and stretched too thin?
Why are so many women still becoming physically and emotionally sick because no matter how much they try or desire, they just can’t seem to get what they need in the midst of taking care of everything else?
This is a question I’ve been exploring for over a decade, ever since I founded the Path of Self Love School and started working with smart, strong, powerful women who like me had been promised the option of having it all, had for some time seemed to have it all, but by about the age of 35 felt our bodies, hearts and souls beginning to revolt.
I’ve learned a lot about the WHY we can’t get out of the burnout cycle.
It has little to do with how many green drinks you down or how many new “productivity” systems you try.
There are deeply rooted reasons that make it so try as you might you just can’t stop sacrificing your health and wellbeing – and they begin on the inside.
Here’s the wisdom byte…
We all know how to take care of ourselves.
The problem is we cannot give ourselves permission to take the self-loving, self-supportive act.
Our internal programming defaults to self-sacrifice not self-care.
You know how to take care of yourself. If I listed 20 ways to take care of yourself, you would likely know all of them. Eat well. Get sleep. Avoid white sugar. Spend time in nature. Limit screen time. Create loving relationships. Exercise daily. Rest and replenish.
What you – and we all – need is to change our internal programming – so it supports you to make the self-loving, self-supportive choice by default starting with this out dated program:
Faulty programming: “It is better to give than receive.”
Just think about that for a moment.
You are like a bank that has been running on an equation that causes you to give more withdrawls than take in deposits (for years!) … no wonder you feel so physically and emotionally bankrupt!
5 years ago, I deleted this “better to give than receive” program from my internal operating system and upgraded it to this:
“It is better to give AND receive.”
Just one word changed everything.
I became aware that:
- I wasn’t getting what I needed, was because I didn’t even know what I needed. I was so trained to give to others daily that it never occurred to me that I needed to ask myself what I needed daily too.
- I had been taught how to achieve but never how to receive (without guilt, obligation or feeling like I had to give in return anyways.)
- I was draining my life force instead of retaining my life force because I gave it away as fast as it came in.
- I needed to learn to keep my life force tanks full to get out of the burnout cycle. So instead of running my energy tanks down to zero, hitting burnout, and then having to spend more time and money recovering and replenishing, I could monitor my giving and receiving so they never got out of balance.
I’m a big fan of making spiritual wisdom practical – so we can make shift happen in our day to day life. The yogi’s say “Change your patterns, change your life.”
So I decide to change my pattern of giving and receiving, to rewire my giving and receiving equation and to learn to retain not drain my energy.
I created and began this daily morning self care practice that takes less than 3 minutes every morning. And has been a self-care savior to me, and to the thousands of people I have shared it with. It’s based on the feminine leadership principle of “Feeding the Feminine First” and the feminine super power of Receiving. I share it with you here and dare you to try it.
The Feminine Super Power of Receiving
Daily Morning Self Care Practice
STEP ONE: Start Your Day in Harmony Not Alarm. If you start your day in alarm, you start your day contracted and blocked off, you activate your sympathetic nervous system which activates flight or fight and you start in panic before your feet meet the floor. The best way to awake is naturally, but if you have to have something wake you up, choose a HARMONY INDUCING ring tone on your phone or replace your alarm clock with a CD player that plays gentle heart opening music.
STEP TWO: Check Your Life Force Levels. Imagine your body is like a chalice or a vessel that has a certain amount of life force in it any given time. Receiving rule #1 and #2 – Always keep your life force at least half full. And never serve from your reserves. This means you have to know where your life force levels are– every morning.
Before you get out of bed every morning, close your eyes, put your hand on your belly, and ask your Inner Wisdom “How full are my life force levels today?” and ask for a number between 0 and 100 – with 100 being totally full and 0 being empty. The first number that comes is THE number, no cheating.
- The goal is to be 75 or above, which means you have surplus to serve and even if you don’t receive more than you give you will be okay.
- If you are between 50-75 you have energy to give AND you also need to make sure you receive or you risk stress, burnout and overwhelm.
- If you are are below 50, you are serving from your reserves, and your are a ticking overwhelm bomb. Really you have no business giving anything to anyone else because you don’t have enough for yourself, so you need to moderate and modify how you give energy & make sure you are filling up.
- If you are below 25, you are serving from and spending life force you may never be able to replenish, you are in burnout. Wherever you are, don’t stress out … we start where we are, and you are here choosing to make a shift to a more sustaining, supportive and nourishing life.
STEP THREE: Ask “What Do I Need to Receive Today” and Make Sure You Get It, No Matter What. After you get your life force level number, do the super power self care practice of asking your Inner Wisdom the most important question you will likely ask all day:
“What do I need to receive today?” or just simply “What do I need today?”
Think about it, if you can’t ask for what you need, how can you expect anyone else to support you or even support yourself for that matter? Most of us end up in stress and overwhelm because we aren’t getting what we need, because our blueprint hasn’t been patterned to do so – until now!
Now here’s the scoop on getting through to your Inner Wisdom’s sage council.
- Keep your eyes closed, put your hand on your heart, take a deep breath, and ask the question to yourself.
- Keep breathing until the answer comes. It may come in a word, a sound, a picture, or a knowing.
- Whatever it says, you MUST make sure you receive that today. It can often be something simple like love, hugs, peace, a nap, a walk, a yoga class – it’s the simple but little things that make self-care happen and keep your energy tanks full. You don’t need to take off to Tahiti for 7 days or hire a personal chef to replenish.
- Whatever it tells you, listen, act and remember this all day long. If you find yourself getting crabby, cranky or feeling drained, remember what you need to receive and give it to yourself.
Note: If you haven’t been talking to your Inner Wisdom, it may at first not answer at all. That’s okay. Just make something up as your answer – something you want to receive that day. As you begin to show up for yourself, your Inner Wisdom will eventually start showing up for you. You may also choose to write it down on your hand or post it.
To get a printed version of this practice along with meditations for self-care, I made a Feminine Super Power Kit (my gift to you) which you can get at www.FeminineSuperPowerKit.com
To learn more about the Feminine Super Power of Receiving, tune into this episode of Feminine Power Time, “Feed the Feminine First” with Christine Arylo – listen to it on this blog or tune in on Itunes and subscribe – https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/feminine-power-time-christine/id1104833531
To get your giving and receiving into balance – take the 40 day Burnout to Balance practice
Image: Burgundy Spiral from 13 Moon Mystery School. http://sanctuaryoftheopenheart.com/