Love Never Dies

 In Uncategorized, Wisdom Blog

Last Friday I faced one of the biggest Surrender challenges of my life
Given that I’ve been teaching Surrender all month it’s no surprise, but it’s still hard.

About a week ago now, I made a decision for love
That on the outside looked like it would end up costing me love.

I helped my best-friend of 17-years,
my heart companion, my soul dog, die.

She wasn’t sick.
Just old.
Her body no longer worked the way it needed for her to
Be the vibrant, jubilant, beautiful being she had always been.

When I came home the Sunday before Easter after leading a 3-day retreat
the entire house smelled like death.
No matter how much I cleaned, or straightened, I couldn’t clear it away.
And by Monday, I had to surrender to the fact that it was time for her to go.

And although I didn’t know it at the time,
inside I became very afraid that Love was again going to leave me.
I have come to believe that the thought of losing love
is one of things we fear most.
We will do most anything to avoid feeling that kind of pain.
Or sometimes do everything to run straight into and sit in the pain,
suffering to make ourselves feel alive and connected to the one that has left.

I’ve gone that route before –
when my father died, when my engagement relationship ended –
Avoiding the pain or festering in the belief that love had been stripped away from me.

This time I made a different choice.
I chose to Surrender.
And in that surrender what I found was sadness and tears, yes of course
But I also found through Surrender, I was able to be 100% present for every single moment of this experience (still am).
And what I’ve received in return was this…

Peace in my heart

And proof that Love Never Dies.
It just changes form.

While there is sadness in the waves of any loss
Love doesn’t get taken away from us,
in fact more love comes in when we surrender our attachment to the packaging

What has been your experience of love when a person or being you’ve loved has left your life through death or a breakup or some other situation?

What happened to that love?  And what happened to your heart?

I’d love to hear your comments below.

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Showing 36 comments
  • carmen madrid

    Thank you Christine, your letter inspires me so much.

  • Fran Riley

    I love you.
    I love your courage
    I love your pyjamas.

  • Deirdre McKeown

    I wept as I watched this, thank you so much….it was the kind of weeping that opens the heart. My own dog companion is getting old and I will soon face that kind of choice. I’ve been feeling myself hanging on, denying that reality because I couldn’t face another loss. Of course I can….yes, as you remind me, but I already know, love never dies….but oh, sometimes, don’t we just miss the dear familiar form!!!!! I so appreciate your sharing your sadness
    and your love….this message is the most powerful sharing I’ve ever experienced…I felt like spirit was talking directly through you to me (and of course, to all!)
    Many blessings, and much love to you,

  • Claire Perkins

    Dear Christine,
    Brava, dear one! Beautifully put, beautifully shared and so very, very true.
    Did you realize that as you drew the blanket down around you, it suddenly looked as though you’d sprouted angel’s wings? 😉
    Nanook is still with you, and love never dies. I learned this through my own experience of loss nearly 7 years ago now, when my oldest son died of a drug overdose. I made the choice to reclaim joy. I made the choice for self-love. I made the choice to be open to miracles, and they came pouring into my life. I chose to believe that LOVE NEVER DIES and in making that choice, I discovered that it’s true!
    Love never dies and the connection we have with those we love is NEVER broken. I am closer to my son than ever and his presence is strong in my life.
    And still, my heart goes out to you as you learn to adjust to the altered presence of Nanook in your life. The human part of us longs for the old forms, and our hearts can help us to open to the new beginnings.
    I would love to send you a complimentary copy of my book, The Deep Water Leaf Society. It is my story of healing and miracles, if you would be interested, please send me an email with a mailing address I can send it to.

  • Jeannette Maw

    “Choose more love.” A-freakin-men to that.
    I accept your invitation, Christine. With thanks.
    You rock!
    Big love to you and Nanook.

  • Teri Williams

    You, darling self love Goddess, are love, love, love and loved beyond words.
    Thank you for sharing such a deep connection in your life. As one that shares so much of your same philosophies, I know love never dies. It’s always here with us, shining it’s light when we simply allow.
    Hugs and blisses to you!!! And love to your soul doggie Goddess!

  • Lela

    My heart goes out to you. 17 is an exceptional age for Nanook to have reached. You are blessed. I can relate, as I have a 14 1/2 year old so-called miracle dog, and I know I can focus on how blessed I am for our years together or whatever is going on with her on her low days or what I imagine it will be like without her or something else entirely. Sometimes I wish I would choose differently, but I am human. Or perhaps I’ve been conditioned to believe what humans do is react to certain things certain ways. Who knows?
    What I have learned that is sometimes difficult to accept and remember is that emotions are an inside job. Ultimately, loving has little to nothing to do with anything or anyone else but us. Do we only love somebody when they are with us? No, but we can choose to instead focus on the lack/absence of them or anger at their not being there or whatever. That feels entirely different, so we have the illusion love is gone or changed. We can choose to keep loving them no matter what or changing our love depending on how they are, what they do, what they say, where they are, etc. So love can die, or at least seem to, but only because of how we choose and where we focus.

  • ilene

    Thanx for sharing your beautiful self/message amidst your loss/vulnerability! I hear/feel ya! i’ve experienced many deaths of loved ones, both 2 and 4 leggeds. Even after many yrs of their passing, they’re still in my hearts/thoughts/memories———-that’s how i know/believe love doesn’t die. Much love/light/peace/big hugs@

  • Phyllis Leslie

    Christine — you are amazing. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story of Nanook
    and our fears that love dies. ( Aren’t our animal friends just incredible teachrs???)
    Thank you for sharing the original thought that love is still there …. thank you for reminding me to love myself ….
    You are the Best!
    heartfelt regards,
    Phyllis Leslie
    Radiant Heart Skincare & Wellness
    Pasadena, CA

  • Jennifer Gregg
    This song reminded me to keep the love alive. Please take a listen. i think it may fill a little space left by your loss.

  • Diane Brewer

    Dear Christine, My heart reaches out to you in this bitter sweet moment! I assisted my little schnauzer day before thanksgiving. He was 8 which at first I judged as too young. But in the end I saw it was his choice and who was I to say 8 yrs was not enough? His illness was such a beautiful experience, I followed my heart the whole way and in the end it was complete, beautiful and even joyful. He gave me whole new perceptions of life and death and I know he can still feel my love and I can his as well. He even assisted in finding me a little girl schnauzer to love. Great video, beautiful heartfelt honesty and courage.
    Thank you! Diane

  • Jill Davis

    Thank you for spinning your sorrow into gold…

  • Anita Toth Simpson

    I too have recently gone through this. I had to release my cat, Pounce, from her suffering on April 14. She was so sick that she wouldn’t eat and I couldn’t watch her starve herself to death. She had lost 2 lbs. in two weeks. She was a wonderful pet for 12 1/2 years. I miss her so much.
    I now have her ashes in a beautiful little box. As I was driving up the driveway to take her to the crematory, Super Tramp’s “Goodbye Stranger” played on the radio. Like all cats, she had to do things her way. Just as I thought I was cried out, I heard that song on the radio today. The waterworks started all over again. And now I’m listening to your message. Thanks for sharing.

  • ani

    Christine, dear dear heart. Once again, I am so deeply moved by your honesty, your vulnerability— how you walk the talk. I get so so so many emails every day and when I see your in my virtual mailbox, I am always so glad, knowing it will bring love—and in that love, blessing. Thank you again!
    I am pretty sure that I have said this before: I experience you as such a kindred spirit! (I even have this feeling that one day, we may do some delicious, loving work together.) In the meantime, a bug warm virtual hug. And thanks for showing up in your pajamas.

  • Linda

    Thank you for sharing yourself in such an intimate way. This is really what is needed in our world. We’re so afraid of sharing ourselves when love is needed the most. You are a beautiful spirit and show me that I can choose to be an open vessel for love.

  • Pat

    I am in the beginning stages of loving myself. Losing a relationship is like losing a loved one through death. It hurts, you ache, you yourn for a split second of more time, thinking it will make a difference. I know because I have experienced both. I had the privilege of having my mother and father present when I came into the world and I had the privilege of being present with each of them as they left this world. While I was afraid that my strength from them would leave me, I learned I carry their love with me each and every day. It is hard to let go of something you love but it is the love that keeps them close, just as you will keep Nanook close.
    I have learned a great deal in the past few days while reading your book, ME before WE. I saw my mistakes, I saw my enabling, but I also saw it was okay to make those mistakes because I am learning from them. Having self-love allows room for error, it allows the heart to open up in a whole new way. Nanook was privileged to have your love as you were to have his. What you did was the kindest thing you could have done for him and I know somehow, he knows this. I am seeing the world and the people around me in a whole new light thanks to you. I am sorry for your loss but thankful for your insights.

  • Lori Wilson

    Thank you for this video! Our German Shephard, Sarah, is almost 17 and we may need to choose soon to help her transition. I think watching this with my husband may have helped prepare him for the choice you mentioned! Thanks so much. This was loving and timely and wise!!

  • Sara Hampton

    That is so true, Christine, love never dies. It also never divides, love always multiplies. Not only did your love for Nanook not die, it multiplied and spread to others and then beyond them also! 🙂
    The initial loss of a loved one, whether pet or human, is sad. But because you learned to love with that being, you are able to love others and teach them to love in return. All a circle.
    My love and sympathies to you for Nanook’s passing. You are a good dog-mommy because you knew it was time to let her go and you did so with love and great caring. I’m proud of and for you. I hope you’ll allow another furfriend to be a part of your family soon.
    Hugs, doggy kisses from my Sophy and Puppy and purrs from my Wobble, Henry and Gray.

  • Joyce

    You are correct that love never dies. And I am sad for you because you have lost your dog. But you cannot equate the passing of a dog and the love of a pet with the passing of a person. A dog or a cat can be replaced with another pet (I know because I lost my lovely Callie – a calico I had for 20 years with Fancy a Maine coon cat I’ve now had for 8 years). But on February 25 my husband and soul mate died of cancer. We were together 30 years, although only married for 11 1/2. He can’t be replaced, and a part of me went with him. My love for him will never die, and a part of my life died with him that day and that part of my life can never be replaced.

  • Mary

    Thank you so much, Christine. You can’t imagine how timely your message is for me. My sister, who I am extremely close to, has terminal cancer. I choose to believe that love never dies and that even after she transitions she will be near me because her love will always surround me just like that beautiful white blanket of yours (which, by the way, does look like angel wings in the video).
    I love your sweetness and the honest sharing of your feelings.

  • Ann

    Dear Christine,
    My sincere sympathy… It is incredible to receive your message now, as this Friday I also found out that I am losing someone incredibly important and close to me. And years ago, still as a teenager, I had to make the decision of letting go of my best friend, my little “brother”, my beloved dog of 15 years. It was an incredibly painful experience, yet, as you say, the love keeps on living… The pain subsides, but the love never goes away. Love is stronger than death. My heart reaches out to you and thank you so much for your message. It reminded me of this very important fact. Thank you!
    Love and Peace,

  • Sallie Ann Westbrook

    Oh Christine, my wonderful teacher, I’m so sorry for the pain in your heart as you transition through this, but I love your message of surrender and on-going love. As you know, I’ve certainly had to deal with this, but on a slightly different level. I didn’t wake up to my angel every day, but am reminded about every other hour that she chose to leave the world. I am absolutely comforted by your message and light. You constantly give me momentum. And for that, Sweet Friend, I am sending you some new pajama bottoms. Much love! SA

  • Monica Flamenco

    Hello. Your message is Beautiful and Healing for all to hear. You warmed my heart by sharing this vulnerable experience in your Life with all of us. So glad I took the time to tune in.
    Much Love, Monica

  • Linda

    Hello Christine,
    thank you for sharing your sadness.
    Love never dies….it’s an engergy which surrounds you and all of us.
    Be grateful for the lucky days you had with your dog.
    So many, you know.
    I always struggle when it comes to death with seeing an advantage in it.
    Maybe this will help:
    Every ending incorporates/stands for a new beginning.
    You will feel the love anytime. Anywhere, you know.
    There is no need for physical presence.
    That is what I learned.
    Heartfelt hugs,

  • Dorothy Inez

    Christine, I am sorry to hear about your dog and I rejoice in the message her life inspired you to share. I truly saw your wings as you shared your story. I love you. Virtual hugs!! Btw, love the pjs.

  • stephanie

    dear christine,
    thank you for your beautiful, heartfelt video. my deepest sympathies for the “loss” of your precious nanook. i was present when my beloved doggie ruby crossed over last year from cancer. although extremely painful for me, it was the most beautiful experience of my entire life. please be assured that nanook still sleeps next to your bed each and every night, in spirit. she will never leave you. even though we’ve never met, you have blessed me and my life immensely with your work. i send you huge hugs and loads of love and blessings! thank you for sharing all of who you are with all of us!
    god bless,

  • Heather Ghinn

    Thank you so much Christine for sharing your grief yet joy of knowing love never dies. I so appreciated your sincerity and honesty in sharing this with us. Bless you – what abundance of healing and miracles are available to us all as we face things in our lives with open hearts and minds. We certainly are transformed when we renew our minds in this way. A big warm hug to you enfolding you, in that furry blanket, and love from Heather

  • Maria Triano

    Thank you ever so much for that Beautiful, Wise, and ever-so deeply needed message. Namaste & Gratitude!

  • Julie

    I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved dog. They’re “people” too, as anyone who has had a relationship with a pet can tell you. What you’re going through is so difficult, and my heart goes out to you.
    Much love, Julie

  • laura

    Christine: My heart goes out to you. I lost the love of my life August 15, 2007. I got another dog December 3, 2007. They are nothing alike. Every so often I feel Cheyanne whispering in Kandhi’s ear and Kandhi pulls a Cheyanne. A Cheyanne is a Cheyanne behaviour that is totally out of character for Kandhi. I still miss my Cheyanne. I am blessed to have Kandhi. I drove across the state of Florida to Miami. A city I absolutely do not want to drive in. Kandhi was at her rescue place for over 6 months. I drove over and snatched her up without knowing much about her. And I am once again blessed with the perfect dog for me. And you and Nanook are in our prayers.

  • Shannon Short

    Hey, Christine,
    Big, humongous, long distance hugs are coming to you. Squeezes, or maybe squgs, even. That’s a really good squeezing, hang on a little longer kind of hug. My dad coined the term .:-) (P.S. I know your pain. Been there done that. My first ever dog, my “heart dog”, November 2007. Still miss him. Never goes away just gets less in your face.
    As for what I learned about love, one of my biggest lessons is from my last break up, and it is this: “Love is real even if it doesn’t last.” And I’ll add today, “and even if it ends in a nasty breakup.” The love was real, even if it’s gone, whether or not it was earned or deserved or he/she was worthy. Love is about how we feel, about how another being makes us feel, so it’s real whether it’s for a fleeting moment or for a life time and regardless of whether or not the one receiving our love deserves it or loves us back.
    I say ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE! And I’m sending a large dose to you now.
    Much love, healing and AMAZING memories of Nanook!

  • lone

    LOVE LOVE LOVE … and thank you dear heart. I’ve had dogs leave me in my life and new dogs come into my life. Such wise creatures and companions. And good examples of unconditional love. Maybe love is all there is? When stuck or in any situation really, I often ask, what would Love do now? You are so right. Love doesn’t go away.
    Blessing to you and to you Wise Wolf Nanook, bon voyage and may you find rest and copious amounts of your favorite treats in doggie-after-land.
    xo, iOne

  • Jacquie

    Hi Christine,
    Such a beautiful message and so many beautifully loving notes left by such beautiful souls.
    I’ve had the incredible privilege of having three amazing kitties come to be a part of my life. One by one, they have loved me, entertained me, comforted me and put up with me. I also have had to find that great strength to be willing to help them go when it was the right time for each one of them. Yes, my human-ness misses that physical touch, the love, the purr; but, I feel them around me always. I can’t wait to hold them again when it is my time to leave this earthly plane. Nanook’s spirit is still loving you every moment…and thanking you for showering your love upon her.
    I love the timing of the universe/the divine. I believe I was lead to your video at the precisely perfect time, and I love you and thank you for putting this out there for us…for loving yourself and us…for showing us how to love ourselves. I’m working very hard on learning to see the love around me after having my husband of 22 years walk out the door. I am like one of the women you see on Oprah…I never saw it coming. He was involved with a woman from his distant past, has a family with her I didn’t know about and is marrying her this weekend. The ink on our divorce papers is barely dry. The devastation is unbearable at times because I lost the love of my husband and my best friend. The loss of a love in your life because another chooses to leave you is like no other I’ve experienced.
    Through having to find employment to support myself, I am now surrounded with co-workers who envelop me with their love. My family has wrapped their arms around me giving me such incredible love. I soak it in daily…relishing in it…truly being present in the presence of their love. In my loss, I have great sadness and great blessings.
    You are an amazing spirit, Christine. Thank you for your message. Sending you love, hugs and sparkles,

  • Lisa Marie

    Hi Amy,
    I can totally related. I too have had to let my best friend go and it is TOUGH. And you are right, the love never dies. Here is a poem I found …
    When God had made the earth and sky,
    the flowers and the trees
    He then made all the animals,
    the fish, the birds and bees.
    And when at last He’d finished
    not one was quite the same.
    He said, “I’ll walk this world of mine
    and give each one a name.”
    And so He traveled far and wide
    and everywhere He went,
    a little creature followed Him
    until it’s strength was spent.
    When all were named upon the Earth
    and in the sky and sea,
    the little creature said,
    “Dear Lord, there’s not one left for me.”
    Kindly the Father said to him,
    “I’ve left you to the end.
    I’ve turned my own name back to front
    and called you dog, My friend.”
    Author unknown

  • LIsa Marie

    So sorry Christine. I believe I addressed my earlier reply to Amy and not you. So sorry. I ahve been busy listening to and reading awesome stuff from both of you this afternoon (new computer:)).
    Lisa Marie

  • Kathy

    Christine, you are so right. Love never dies. It’s with us always-in all ways. When the form releases its contents, they are free to expand and they just get bigger! Surrounding, enfolding, permeating everything!
    Several days after you sent out this video (which I didn’t watch at the time, ‘cause I didn’t want to cry) I began my own process of helping my mom die. After a 4 week hospitalization (where not one person mentioned that this was a possibility) we put her in a hospice center; we were unable to care for her at home after her release from the hospital. We thought she was going there to get well.
    Two days later her condition suddenly worsened and we were faced with the knowledge that she was going to leave. And even though most of me wanted to run like hell and avoid it, I Knew I needed to be her Witness. I stayed with her for her last three day, watching over her with my family (it was remarkably like waiting for a baby to be born), passing on her love and appreciation to her siblings, cousins, friends when she could no longer speak, and I was with her at the moment of her death. I woke up from a sound sleep, something calling me to her side. I could tell she was gone-her soul had left already. There was only the mechanical operation of a body that had worked so hard for 72 years to live. I was standing beside her with my hands on her chest when she took her last breath. I felt her heart stop beating. I Witnessed it all. If she was brave enough to do it, I was going to be brave enough to Watch. And I was.
    On her last day it suddenly hit me-like when you’re REALLY in labor and you realize that you can’t change your mind, this is really going to happen! I started sobbing. Inside, I screamed, “MY MOM IS GOING TO DIE!!!!” And then this tiny little voice said, “who will love me now?” Yes, I was not worried about her-I knew she was simply transitioning to Pure Source Energy and she was sad to leave, but happy to go!- I was worried about ME! She had always been my biggest fan, my cheerleader, even my student (ya know, for my Infinite Wisdom :). Now there would be nobody to tell me how awesome I was! I felt an electric zap as I realized that that left just me to-guess what! LOVE MYSELF. Her parting gift was her greatest gift to me-my Self.

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