What Kind of INNER Mean Girl Do You Have?

What we found in our 5 years of research, work with 30,000 women and girls around the globe, across socio-economic, professional and cultural diversity is:

While the idea of the inner critic isn’t new, how it works within women and girls is specific. Every one of us has these internal forces, even those who appear the strongest, smartest and most successful. It’s workings are often invisible, yet the impact on our lives and overall mental, emotional and physical wellbeing are significant.

This invisible force drives our thoughts, feelings, actions, as well as our big and small choices, in sabotaging ways. We call this our “Inner Mean Girl” because she feels personal, she knows how to hit you right where it hurts, and she will make you stop trusting yourself.  While she isn’t always mean, she is always bullying and pressuring us in ways that don’t serve or support us.

We also found that taking a creative, curious, playful approach gets us past our heads (where the inner mean girl rules), and into our hearts, bodies and spirits where our inner wisdom lives.  

So the archetypes, while playful, give us a powerful, insightful way to start observing, understanding and relating to these parts of ourselves calling for our attention.

Here’s a few samples of real Inner Mean Girls, brought to life by myself and the women, educators, therapists and practioners we’ve trained in this methodology over the past decade.

A short note from Christine Arylo, co-creator of the Reform Your Inner Mean Girl ™ Methodology

I myself have 5 Inner Mean Girls – all reformed and given new jobs (which they love!) but who still surface when I am in times of stress or stretch. Mean Patty, my Comparison Queen (pictured above with the tall ruler) is who I met first, and who almost kept me from really embracing my success as a published author. My last was my Rejection Queen, Beat It Brenda, who can still cause me to feel like I am on the outside, all alone and drive me into over-self-reliant behaviors that burn me out and make things harder.

The difference is I know when they flare up and I know how to care and calm for them, so when the mental, emotional and somatic energy gets stirred up within me, I can settle my internal world down because I know what I need. Then my Inner Wisdom guides my choices, influences my feelings and thoughts, and I can show up in my centered presence … exhale!

The effects of this approach has influenced my leadership, relationships, wellbeing and capacity to make choices that keep me in alignment with what is true and real for me.

I continue to use this methodology with everyone from the executive leaders and high level professionals I work with, who while strong and smart, still have these sabotaging forces within them. I use it with the young emerging leaders, professionals and change makers – in high school, college and early to mid career – who are influenced by a system that either makes them doubt themselves or defend themselves. I work with organizations, educators, parents and practicioners who are leading the way to bring the tools for wellbeing and wise decision making into our educational systems.

I invite you to take this self-assessment + then start to observe yourself like a curious, investigative reporter. (link below)

Then try out the Reform Your Inner Mean Girl 7-step process in the book (learn more here)

And if you like me have a passion for working with the next generation of leaders and the young ones who have not yet forgotten how to trust their inner wisdom and intuition completely, connect with me through my podcast or my community email connect@arylo.com

I have loved seeing the impact on girls as young as 7 and women well into their 80s. Once we start talking about our inner mean girls, their power over us subsides and we really do become powerful and WISE enough to create a better world, rooted in wholeness, wellbeing and connection.  

With heart,

Christine Arylo