While the idea of the inner critic isn’t new, how it works within women and girls is specific. we need a different approach that supports our wellbeing & realities vs. strengthens our self-doubt & stress.
What if instead of trying to silence, tame or ignore this part of ourselves, we started listening to what she is trying to tell us? Learned to turn the internal pressure + negative thinking – which we call “self-bullying” – into self-empowered, compassionate action?
What is this internal force often called the inner critic trying to reveal to us? What’s her motivation?
How do we turn down the volume of the negative-self talk and turn up the volume of our internal wisdom when you get triggered?
How can we strengthen our connection to our inner wisdom to make better choices for our careers, relationships, and well-being?
Truth? We are quicker to recognize when others bully or disrespect us, but it’s harder to discern when we do it to ourselves. There is a voice within each of us that whispers that we are not good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, or deserving of the life, relationships, or careers we desire. And even when we do hit the mark, the voice raises the bar or points out someone who’s done it “better.”
That voice has a name—meet the Inner Mean Girl.
Consider This: Strangely, our Inner Mean Girl is trying to protect us, which is why we don’t want to just shut her down or kill her off. But while her tactics for keeping us safe might have worked for a time, we get to a point in our lives, where they are keeping us stuck.
Which is why at the same time we are getting to understand and calm (not tame!) our Inner Mean Girl, we need to also strengthen the other, wiser, force within us: our Inner Wisdom. She is compassionate, creative, and she knows how to navigate change and uncertainty and make choices that support our well-being and goals.
The question is: How do we turn down the volume (and triggers) of our inner critics, so that we can listen to our inner wisdom?
Abounding in humor, creativity, and self-inquiry, Reform Your Inner Mean Girl guides us through a transformative seven-step process—designed by women, for women—to repurpose our self-sabotaging mindsets & patterns into ones that are driven by self-awareness, self-compassion, and self-confidence.
By showing us how to connect with and trust our inner wisdom, this guidebook empowers us to make wiser choices for lasting well-being and harmony in our lives, relationships, and careers.
In this guidebook, Christine Arylo and Amy Ahlers teach how to:
- Identify which of the 13 kinds of Inner Mean Girl archetypes are most prominent within you
- Transform toxic habits like Comparison, Perfectionism, Over-Promising, Isolation & Self-Doubt
- Reveal what motivates, triggers, and soothes your unique inner critic – and what she is trying to protect you from
- Understand what you need to support your emotional & mental well-being during an inner critic flare up, including how to calm the anxiety, anger, fear and pressure when it arises.
- Listen to + trust our inner wisdom, so you can make wiser choices for your life, relationships, and career, especially when it stretches you or guides you to do things differently than others.
- Use Creative, playful practices that integrate body, mind, heart, and spirit, that take us beyond an intellectual understanding of the inner critic to access lasting, deep-rooted transformation
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When we understand the motivation behind our negative self-talk and the pressure we place on ourselves, we can unlock the ability to transform our inner critics into inner wisdom.
By practicing this in our own lives, we gain the power to share this skill with those we influence, love, and guide.
BREAKING IT DOWN
Christine Arylo and Amy Ahlers refined this internationally recognized seven-step process over a five-year period, testing their methodology in six countries with over 30,000 women of diverse backgrounds, socioeconomic statuses, professions, and life stages.
The Reform Your Inner Mean Girl program has been taught to and practiced by women and girls from eight to eighty-eight years old in professional training, personal development courses & retreats, therapy sessions, grade schools & high schools, and within women’s prison systems.
- Step 1: Reveal Your Type of Inner Mean Girl from 13 Different Archetypes
- Step 2: Explore Your Inner Mean Girl’s Tricks and Triggers
- Step 3: Discover What Motivates Your Inner Mean Girl and Truly Drives You
- Step 4: Turn Up the Volume on Your Inner Wisdom
- Step 5: Make Your Inner Wisdom Your Most Trusted Ally
- Step 6: Give Up Self-Bullying for Good
- Step 7: Assign Your Inner Mean Girl Her New Job
See samples of women & girls Inner Mean Girl Expose’s and Images
Perfectionist * Doing Addict * Good Girl * Achievement Junkie * Worrywart * Or…
What Kind of Inner Mean Girl Do You Have?
And what are some simple practices you can use to start transforming her?
Take the Inner Critic Quiz for Women & Young Adults
WHAT READERS SAY
“This amazing nugget fell into my hands by no accident! As a transformational guide and coach for women as well as a leader in my own company, this book has been a powerful resource for my clients and employees. . . The practical tools in this book also gave me access to simple ways to make pretty big shifts in both my thoughts and my behavior. It’s profound, yet it’s light so the balance allows me to move at my own pace and not get overwhelmed with 20 steps to take.”
— Cheryl Ann
“[Reform Your Inner Mean Girl] helped me realize so many different toxic thinking patterns that I had and found ways to get rid of this. I recommend this book to every woman that I come across that doesn’t feel loved by herself and needs a little help.”
— Mayya
“EVERYONE can benefit from the tools in this book! My 11 year old son knows how to recognize his inner mean voice (he’s got an inner perfectionist) and already knows it’s a voice and not truth. We went through the list of Inner Mean Girls (and Guys) and talked about each one and how they show up for us. I wish I had these tools at his age!”
— PGOlsen
WHAT OTHER WOMEN LEADERS & TRANSFORMATIONAL TEACHERS SAY
“A significant paradigm shift! This work is changing the way people relate to their Inner Critics, and people think and act more powerfully as a result…I can heartily recommend their work and have witnessed the resulting transformations firsthand.”
— SARK, Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy, bestselling author and artist
“Many books have been written about how to navigate the inner dialogue of women, so why are we still so hard on ourselves?” This book holds the key to unlock the mystery. The Inner Mean Girl work is essential to the development of the feminine psyche. I’ve witnessed thousands of women’s lives transformed as a result.
— Shiloh Sophia McCloud, founder of Musea, International School for Intentional Creativity
“This book is literally medicine for the body, mind, heart and soul.”
— Dr. Lissa Rankin, MD, NYT Best-Selling author of Mind Over Medicine
BOOK RESOURCES
MEET CHRISTINE ARYLO
Transformational Leadership Advisor, MBA, Wisdom Teacher, Social Innovator & four-time author
For over 20 years, Arylo has been devoted to working with emerging and established women leaders across generations & geography to break through the invisible systemic and self-created interference that has kept women stuck in realities, relationships, careers and cycles that diminish our true power, wisdom and presence.
Her unique approach and super power for creating new models, practices, and processes that lead people to new insights, deeper wisdom, a path to do things differently have made her a sought-out thought leader, advisor, coach, teacher and facilitator for individuals, teams, organizations ready for lasting transformation & elevation.
So Much Stronger Together
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