Are You Free to Love?

 In Self Love, Self-Care & Self-Sustainability, Wisdom Blog

Many of us say that we want love

We spend tons of energy

Sometimes even money

On trying to find it

But then I wonder

Are we really open to receiving it

Once it shows up on our doorstep

Or do we actually shut the door

On the very thing we want most

Does your heart open wide when love
knocks on your door?

Expanding and opening to let the love
flow in.

Or does your heart contract, recoil and
pull back

Peer out the window, want to open the
door so badly, but is too afraid

Of what would happen if it let love in

Does your heart rush in with open arms
to find and embrace connection in this world

Expecting to receive love back

Knowing that love is everywhere when
you know where to look

And when your heart is open to receive

Or is your heart cautious, having been
hurt before,

So it doesn’t let itself open too
wide or let too many people in

Instead of skipping through life freely
and joyfully

Is your heart walking safely and
securely never risking too much?

It’s okay you know,

We’ve all be hurt

We’ve all had our innocent pure
loving hearts smacked around

Stepped on

Looked over



And as a result,

You may have built big walls around
your heart

So you’d never be hurt again

Or you may have taken all the walls

Hoping you’d be loved again, if you
just gave more of yourself away.

And although you were doing what you
needed to do

To protect yourself at the time

The truth is that what actually
protects you most is not walls or the giving of yourself away,

The biggest protection you have in life
is love.

But love can only protect you if you
let it in.

Love can only serve you if you let it.

All love needs is permission to open
the door of your heart again.

Think of all the ways that love comes
knocking on your heart’s door today:

When a stranger smiles

Do you smile back and let the love
permeate your heart

Or do you give a fake obligatory smile
or pretend you didn’t notice?

When someone approaches you with the
offer of a hug

Do you let the embrace fully envelope

Letting all your body parts touch,
chest, belly and arms

Or do you politely offer a few pats on
the back, never touching hearts

Or do you go for the A frame hug,
letting your upper chest touch but the hug stops there.

When someone offers to help you or pays
you a compliment

Does your heart open wide to say THANK
YOU! YES! I will receive that

Or do you push back their gift

Saying you can handle it on your own

Or “this old thing, I’ve had it for

When someone offers you a chance to
connect during your ‘busy’ day

Do you stop and make time for love

Or do you skip by the moments in life
in which love is offered

Putting it on hold for when you have

But those times come far and few

When you wake up in the morning

Do you look around and notice the magic
and splendor of the beauty of this world?

Do you fill your heart with all that
you are grateful for

Or do you jump out of bed without
noticing much of anything

Except thinking of all the things you
have to do or all that you haven’t yet done?

When you find yourself in relationship
with an intimate partner, a lover, a mate

Do you let down your walls of

And show them the truth of your heart
and soul

Even in the times, especially in the
times, when you are afraid?

Do you lean in with an open heart to
create the intimacy that you desire,

Or do you use love as a weapon, or say
you want intimacy but then don’t offer it?

Do you settle for less than the deep
emotional connection that only two open hearts can create

And tell yourself that what you have is

When your heart knows that it is not?

What if today, you let your heart speak

What would she or he say?

What one daring act of love would you
be willing to take

To risk letting love walk in your
heart’s door?

To set your heart free

To do what it does best

To love.

And in return allow you to revel and
trust in that love forever.

author of
ME before WE, Every Woman’s Guide to Life and Love
Arylo has been called the Queen of Self-Love. Her insights, fresh
perspectives and daring take on love, in all its forms, have been
featured on TV and radio stations across the country, in the world’s
top spas and retreat centers, and in colleges and corporations. She
is the founder of Madly in Love with ME, an international movement of
self-love, which includes a free self-love kit downloadable at
She is also the co-founder of
Mean Girl Reform School,

a virtual school where women go to transform their self-sabotaging
voices into self-empowering ones.

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  • Ray Raceitz

    Divorce is tough – something I hope to never go through again. Trying to learn all I can about making things work, but there seems to be a lot of support out there for those going through this. I mean heck, there is a whole group of us on

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