Are You Free to Love?
Many of us say that we want love
We spend tons of energy
Sometimes even money
On trying to find it
But then I wonder
Are we really open to receiving it
Once it shows up on our doorstep
Or do we actually shut the door
On the very thing we want most
Does your heart open wide when love
knocks on your door?
Expanding and opening to let the love
Or does your heart contract, recoil and
Peer out the window, want to open the
door so badly, but is too afraid
Of what would happen if it let love in
Does your heart rush in with open arms
to find and embrace connection in this world
Expecting to receive love back
Knowing that love is everywhere when
you know where to look
And when your heart is open to receive
Or is your heart cautious, having been
So it doesn’t let itself open too
wide or let too many people in
Instead of skipping through life freely
Is your heart walking safely and
securely never risking too much?
It’s okay you know,
We’ve all be hurt
We’ve all had our innocent pure
loving hearts smacked around
And as a result,
You may have built big walls around
So you’d never be hurt again
Or you may have taken all the walls
Hoping you’d be loved again, if you
just gave more of yourself away.
And although you were doing what you
needed to do
To protect yourself at the time
The truth is that what actually
protects you most is not walls or the giving of yourself away,
The biggest protection you have in life
But love can only protect you if you
let it in.
Love can only serve you if you let it.
All love needs is permission to open
the door of your heart again.
Think of all the ways that love comes
knocking on your heart’s door today:
When a stranger smiles
Do you smile back and let the love
permeate your heart
Or do you give a fake obligatory smile
or pretend you didn’t notice?
When someone approaches you with the
offer of a hug
Do you let the embrace fully envelope
Letting all your body parts touch,
chest, belly and arms
Or do you politely offer a few pats on
the back, never touching hearts
Or do you go for the A frame hug,
letting your upper chest touch but the hug stops there.
When someone offers to help you or pays
you a compliment
Does your heart open wide to say THANK
YOU! YES! I will receive that
Or do you push back their gift
Saying you can handle it on your own
Or “this old thing, I’ve had it for
When someone offers you a chance to
connect during your ‘busy’ day
Do you stop and make time for love
Or do you skip by the moments in life
in which love is offered
Putting it on hold for when you have
But those times come far and few
When you wake up in the morning
Do you look around and notice the magic
and splendor of the beauty of this world?
Do you fill your heart with all that
you are grateful for
Or do you jump out of bed without
noticing much of anything
Except thinking of all the things you
have to do or all that you haven’t yet done?
When you find yourself in relationship
with an intimate partner, a lover, a mate
Do you let down your walls of
And show them the truth of your heart
Even in the times, especially in the
times, when you are afraid?
Do you lean in with an open heart to
create the intimacy that you desire,
Or do you use love as a weapon, or say
you want intimacy but then don’t offer it?
Do you settle for less than the deep
emotional connection that only two open hearts can create
And tell yourself that what you have is
When your heart knows that it is not?
What if today, you let your heart speak
What would she or he say?
What one daring act of love would you
be willing to take
To risk letting love walk in your
To set your heart free
To do what it does best
And in return allow you to revel and
trust in that love forever.
author of Choosing
ME before WE, Every Woman’s Guide to Life and Love,
Arylo has been called the Queen of Self-Love. Her insights, fresh
perspectives and daring take on love, in all its forms, have been
featured on TV and radio stations across the country, in the world’s
top spas and retreat centers, and in colleges and corporations. She
is the founder of Madly in Love with ME, an international movement of
self-love, which includes a free self-love kit downloadable at
She is also the co-founder of Inner
Mean Girl Reform School,
a virtual school where women go to transform their self-sabotaging
voices into self-empowering ones.