The Feminine Super Power of ‘Receiving’ … Giving Up the Push for the Invitation

 In Feminine Super Powers, Self Love, Wisdom Blog, Women's Wisdom

The year I left my corporate job in 2007, I named “The
year of receiving”… I always pick a mantra for the year based on the
quality that I really want to bring into my life and my self. While I had
always been great at making it happen, a skill very valued in the man-powered
corporate world, I knew that to thrive as a an entrepreneur and a visionary
leader I had to learn how to let things happen, I needed to activate my
feminine super power of Receiving.


Three years later, even after a full
year of learning it, I still find the Feminine Super Power of Receiving one of
the hardest to explain, which seems weird to me on one hand because it should
be as simple as saying, it’s just like accepting a present from someone. They
give you a gift, you say thank you. But that doesn’t seem to quite cut it. It’s
like my achiever brain doesn’t register something when I think about receiving
in the biggest context of that is how I live my life. “What do you mean
receive? Do I just sit here on my throne like Queen of Sheba letting my
subjects bring me gifts?” Not exactly. And then you couple that with my
social conditioning that it is better to give than to receive and then all
those frayed guilt synapses I’ve spent years rewiring start to sparkle just a bit.

So in the absence of being able to
appropriately explain the Feminine Super Power of Receiving
to you, I did what any good
achiever does, I decided to do something about it. But unlike my former
achievement junkie self, I waited until I was ‘invited’
to do something about it.

After finishing my 40 day taking
care of ME practice on February 13th, that little but mighty voice inside my
head, who I have come to know and love as my intuition said to me… let’s try
Receiving again. At first my ego was a little bruised, “What do you mean?
I spent an entire year learning how to receive? Do you mean I have more to
learn?” An undeniable YES! was her answer, and now I sit here roughly 20
days since I began, and here is what I have learned…

You’ll spend less energy and you’ll receive more if you
wait for an “invitation” vs. pushing to make it happen.

Several months ago one of my dear
friends Catherine told me that she had proclaimed a new life rule (she does
this on occasion)… and this time her new life lens was ‘I wait to do anything
until I am invited.’ And I thought to myself, “Well that is nice, good for
you! And that is a non-apply to me.” It was like one of those moments when
you kind of get what someone is saying and on the other hand kind of don’t but
in either case, know you don’t really want to know more. Of course what I
realize now is that what she shared with me was just sheer brilliance, I was
just not ready to see it


Fast forward to two weekends ago,
early into my 40-day Receiving when I attended the Sister Giant conference in
Los Angeles put on by Marianne Williamson… an event mind you that I was
‘invited’ to come to another friend. I guess I should have seen the writing on
the wall.


This other friend is a master at the

although I didn’t know it at the time because we’ve only know each other a few
months. When I say she is a master at the invitation what I mean is that she
let’s things come to her. Opportunities arise, she notices them, she says, Yes
or No, and then she moves into them. She’s lived her whole life this way she
tells me. And this time my achiever brain goes, “Huh, I think there is
something to this invitation thing!” Both she and Catherine expend
tremendously less energy than I do. No toil to ‘make it happen’ or ‘get it all
done’ or ‘be in the right place at the right time’ or ‘have the right plan’…
and yet they are both successful, they are both happy and the truth is that
they are more free to enjoy their lives than I am.


It’s not that they aimlessly float
around their lives waiting for someone to invite them to a party or tell them
what they want to do. They have a knowing and a focus on what they want. They
are women of action. And they accomplish great things – from raising daughters,
to writing best sellers, to choregraphing beautiful dances and changing
people’s consciousness – no small feats! But they do it with a grace and ease
that until now I know I have lacked, and that I believe that I have officially
not believed worked as well as my tactic of push, push, make it happen.


living by invitation only

  • I LOVE IT!!!!!
  • It’s
    far less work and you get to receive many more of the benefits when you wait.
  •  It
    takes trust.
  • It
    takes a BIG dose of your intuition to listen to the timing of when to move,
    when to stay.
  • When
    you trust, when you listen to your intuition, and when your energy field is
    clear, you will just end up at the right place at the right time. The
    invitation will show up, and you will say YES or NO. If it feels good and
    right, you always say YES, even if you don’t know why… because that is where the magic and the miracles happen.

I lived by invitation for the entire weekend at Sister Giant and the magic that happened for me was profound – I had experiences and met women that I never would have if I had been up to my old achiever ways… and it all unfolded for me.

I am currently still living by invitation which has continued to bring more magic… and questions… but I will save those for another blog.  For now, consider yourself the 40-day receiving practice and living by invitation only.

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Showing 8 comments
  • Tarja

    I love this post! It is so important to know how to receive and a great message to remind me/us over and over again about it.
    It is wonderful to witness you and your process as it gives me more permission for my own.
    Thank you!

  • Ricki

    Thank you soooo much for Inviting me to read this! I actually sat here and read the whole thing and feel great about taking time for ME. The chord that struck: I was invited to be in a certain venue for the summer…and I believe it came from my passionate desire to share my healthful organic soups with more people. I gave a gift of those soups and the receiver offered me even more than i had hoped for. Invitation accepted with a big YES. Details to be worked out soon. Thank you 🙂

  • stephanie Vincent

    I completly get how this is a hard concept to explain. But i know it works. When you are able to just be present, spirit presents the perfect opportunities almost magically. Effortless success…i have experienced with my mental and physical health over the last 6 months and now I full a pull in the area of my career. Its easy for me to start thinking about logistics, yet i know that is not how the magic happens. Thanks for this post….i will thinking a lot about invitation.

  • Stephanie Vincent
    Couldn’t get the track back to work. Thanks for the post…really got me thinking…i still am!!

  • Christine Arylo

    Stephanie – thank you for your self love post! I wish you much magic as you let the invitation come in!! keep me posted. Christine.

  • Christine Arylo

    Ricki, i LOVE IT!!! what great affirmation that invitation works. YAHOO for loving you enough to trust in this feminine super power of receiving. So much less effort, right? and so much more magical! I was dancing in my living room today after receiving two really special invitations this evening. WOW does the feminine super power of invitation work!

  • Tosha

    This may seem like a dumb question or maybe I missed the mark when I read your post, but how would I know when I am receiving? I’m still hung up on receiving meaning waiting. Need more clarification. My brain is searching for that “ah ha!” moment and I’m just not getting it yet.

  • Christine Arylo

    HI Tosha – GREAT question! This is why I spent a whole year learning how to receive and then just needed to do another 40-day practice on it, because it was really hard to explain – mostly because my doing brain just doesnt get it. The easiest way to learn it is to try it yourself – do a 40-day practice of Receiving, every day waking up and asking “What do i need to do to receive today.” Live your life by invitation – watching what comes to you and then acting. Notice when you are pushing and forcing vs allowing. Notice when you push love or opportunity away or close down energetically in your body, and instead open up. Notice when your body gets tense or stressed, you are never receiving then, because you are believing that you have to do it all. Open up, plug into Source and let the Universe help. Do a daily practice of tapping into your intuition – and receive the messages that come. You can do this through meditation or my using an oracle card deck.
    You know you are receiving when you feel open, things start coming to you, and you have to expend less effort and energy to ‘make your life happen’ — your life starts to create itself based on your intention, clarity and openness.

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