Self-Love Truth: If You Want Love, You’ve Got to Be Vulnerable.
If you read the common definition of vulnerability in the dictionary, which is
“capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon,”
it’s no wonder most of us skitter around vulnerability. No one in their right mind wants to be open to attack. And with a definition like this it’s no wonder that we don’t have the intimacy we really want in our relationships or with ourselves for that matter. We say we want intimacy with our mates, but most of us are totally unequipped to give it in return. Most people are not that great at vulnerability and for good reason. They have spent their lives learning they have to protect themselves. But the fact is, that if we really want to experience love, we have to be able and willing to be totally vulnerable. But not in the way our current dictionaries define it. We need to be vulnerable in the real meaning of the word, which actually exudes great strength and fortitude.
If you’re like me and most of the women I’ve met in my journey of teaching and reading the principles of Choosing ME before WE, we could all use a redefined version of vulnerability. Here’s my take on vulnerability. A new definition for today’s 21st century woman, a woman who can be totally in love with herself and be totally available to share love with another. She is a woman who dares to be loved, because she can:
understands that to be vulnerable is not weak, but instead is one of the strongest powers she possesses.
can open herself to be seen so deeply at her most truest and innocent self, that she has the ability to fully receive love from another.
has the capacity to accept and give love freely, unafraid that anything can or will be taken away from her.
is unafraid to show the raw, real feelings that live inside her soul.
knows her expression of vulnerability can open the heart of another, inviting them to show their raw & real self.
always steps forward in love. Even if she knows she may get hurt, it’s worth the risk. And with sovereignty on her side, she knows she will never give herself away.
is unafraid to cry, tell the truth, appear weak, or be wrong.
understands that she can’t expect what she can’t give.
understands that vulnerability is the key to intimacy.
is unafraid to ask for or show the way to her partner to create this vulnerability.