Love Dare #4: Give Up All Negative Thinking & Talking, Yes All of It.

 In Self Love, Self-Love Dare

Two months ago I had a moment. You know one of those moments when you have just had enough. Frustration. Exasperation. A realization that enough is enough and it’s time to make a change. After 38 years of walking around this earth with negative thoughts in my head or spewing out of my mouth I decided that I had had it. I was over this negative crud and what it was doing to me. In that moment I knew there was only one thing to do, give it up. And within 10 seconds I had uttered eight words that completely changed my life. Those words were: “I give up ALL negative thinking and talking.”

I can still remember the moment, dressed in my Lululemon yoga clothes, I had this visceral experience that felt like waves echoing around me, sending out the sonar that shift was afoot and a new sheriff was in town.

Moments before I had just finished a very harsh mental workout, the kind that used to take mean girl.jpgplace in my head, and that consisted of me beating myself with dumbbells for how much I sucked… or kept me spinning in my head like in a spin class to nowhere, unable to gain any traction. Beaten down, I was just about ready to strip myself down completely and throw myself into what I call ‘the muddy, all-consuming pool of suffering’ aka the black hole of self-love, void of all self-love. But then something stopped me from flailing my body and soul into that nasty and all too familiar pool. Maybe it was the books I had been reading by authors like Napoleon Hill or Jack Canfield. Or the zillion interviews I had listened over the weeks prior given by successful people (really successful, which to me means spiritually, physically, emotionally and financially). Whatever finally clicked I stopped myself from a pattern that I had repeated over and over again in various ways my whole life… and said NO MORE! I give up ALL negative thinking and talking.

It’s been two months, and I have to say giving up the negative thinking and talking addiction has changed my life. I am happier. I have more energy. Fantastic opportunities are coming my way that I could never have imagined. My life feels full, not busy. I am enjoying my life more, the one I am having right now. Situations that before would have caused me to spin, judge myself, over analyze, paralyze, whatever unproductive waste of energy I was engaged in, have become ways for me to love myself vs. hurt myself. If that sounds like something you could use too, I dare you to say those same 8 words and stick to it. You CAN change your entire life… in just 8 words.

I give up ALL negative thinking and talking
  • I only say nice things about myself. If there is something I don’t like, I love myself through it. I admit I don’t like it and then ask myself, “How can I change it. I focus on making ME the person I want to become.
  • If I say something mean about me, I don’t criticize myself for saying something mean (that’s double negative thinking!). I notice it, realize that I am learning, and I choose different words.
  • I make everything in my life as an opportunity to learn, realizing that no one but me asked me to be perfect and that is just plain ridiculous. I smile at being ridiculous.
  • I don’t compare myself to anyone else.
  • I don’t judge other people. If there is something in them I don’t like, I ask “What is it about me that I don’t really?” Then love that part of you.
  • I don’t gossip.
  • If I don’t have something nice to say about someone, I say nothing.
  • I abstain from taking in any negative energy. I avoid negative news, conversations and people.
  • I am not a pie in the sky Pollyanna. I am realistically optimistic woman who understands that my thoughts, words and actions create my reality (and I’d prefer a great one)
  • Get A Freedom Buddy. Take the vow to be free from negative talk and thought with a friend, your partner, your daughter, your dog… someone that can be there to be a lifeline for you when you stumble and who can laugh with you along the way.
  • Be Super Aware. Notice your energy every time you have a negative thought. What does your body feel like? Notice the energy coming out of your mouth when you have negative talk. What does it feel like, smell like, look like? Words and thoughts are energy. I guarantee once you start tapping into the toxicity of negative ones and their affect on you, you’ll want to stop.
  • Start and Do a Daily Practice. Mediate, chant, go for walks in nature, anything that boosts your energy fields up, that gets you out of just your head and into your heart and body. Any spiritual teacher will tell you, a daily practice is a must have. You can’t afford not to take the time to have one. Your life depends on it.
  • Be Super Aware of Success & Get Witnessed. Notice the changes that start to occur, because they will. Talk about your insights, successes, and shifts with your freedom buddy. Find others who have freed themselves or are in process and share with them. Being witnessed in this shift is hugely important.

Inspiring Resources… we were never meant to take this journey alone, so give yourself some self-love and check out there inspiring books and teachers who can really help you give up that negative talk and thought for good.

Napoleon Hill –  Think and Grow Rich, 21st Century
Jack Canfield – The Secrets of Success

And for more ideas and dares on how to fall more in love with yourself, get your Free Madly in Love with ME Kit at

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